On the whole, I canâ€™t stand love songs. Part of it stems from time as a wedding DJ, where every week I watched newly-hitched couples writhe to such formulaic, saccharine dreck as Lonestarâ€™s â€œAmazedâ€ (which paradoxically cribs a lyric from one of the best love songs of all time, Paul McCartneyâ€™s â€œMaybe Iâ€™m Amazedâ€), Hoobastankâ€™s â€œThe Reasonâ€ (remember that one from 2005?), and Bryan Adamsâ€™ â€œ(Everything I Do) I Do It For You,â€ which spends its first 80 seconds without a drumbeat, the hallmark of any great dance number, am I right?
Part of it is also my own disposition, and I know I am speaking for my than just myself on this. I donâ€™t go for all that lovey-dovey cutesy stuff. Thatâ€™s not what love is. Sure, those moments of hand-holding, cuddling, and saying really sweet things to one another have their place â€“ on waterfronts, behind closed doors, in a dimly-lit theaterâ€¦just make sure that in any of the above scenarios that you stay the Hell away from social media. Nobody cares. Love isnâ€™t just teasing one another about who really loves who more, itâ€™s about sticking together no matter what work, family, or the universe as a whole decides to throw at you. Itâ€™s about being there for your partner, supporting and comforting them, but more importantly, it is about having someone in your life that you can turn to for comfort and support without hesitation, someone to whom you can expose your weaknesses, vulnerabilities, and shortcomings. They donâ€™t exactly address that in â€œLove Will Keep Us Together.â€
There are two kinds of love songs that I do like: the realistic ones and the weird ones. The realistic ones include Ray Davies from The Kinks wondering aloud in their 1965 song â€œSomething Better Beginning,â€ which captures a coupleâ€™s first meet at a dance, that â€œI found something I thought Iâ€™d never have / The only time I feel alive is when Iâ€™m with you / I wonder how long it will last.â€ The end result is a much more accurate glimpse into that first-night excitement than anything else from that period. I also love when married musicians write about love. Neil Young has been married to his wife Pegi since 1977, and the longevity of their relationship makes songs like 2010â€™s â€œWalk With Meâ€ carry far more emotional weight. Paul McCartneyâ€™s Ram also exemplifies the realism of married bliss, where all the guy wanted was a horse, a sheep, and a good nightâ€™s sleep with his wife and babies in the heart of the country. (Be sure to also check out â€œCountry Dreamer,â€ a Wings B-side from 1973. That song is all I want in life.)
The most exciting love songs, though, are the ones with the most unique approaches. I would much rather hear Iggy Popâ€™s â€œI Wanna Be Your Dogâ€ than â€œBrown-Eyed Girl.â€ Who cares about all the times you sang sha-la-la when Iggy is beckoning, â€œNow weâ€™re gonna be face to face / And Iâ€™ll lay right down in my favorite place?â€ Or, to return to The Kinks, how about â€œLola,â€ the one tune that Ray has routinely introduced in concert as being one of his favorite love songs? In it, a young man, fresh to the electric candlelight of the London nightlife, encounters Lola and her dark brown voice. By the songâ€™s end, the narrator declares, â€œIâ€™m not the worldâ€™s most masculine man / But I know what I am, Iâ€™m glad Iâ€™m a man / And soâ€™s Lola.â€ Not your typical tale, but there is no denying that the two are happy and comfortable with being themselves.
Perhaps my favorite of these off-beat love songs is â€œKingdom of Loveâ€ by The Soft Boys, fronted by a young Robyn Hitchcock. Their second release, 1980â€™s Underwater Moonlight, laid the groundwork for some of the decadeâ€™s best music. (Naturally, this also means it sold poorly.) What made The Soft Boys so captivating was their ability to wear their influences on their sleeves â€“ John Lennon, Captain Beefheart, The Byrds, Pink Floyd founder Syd Barrett, and Davies â€“ while still presenting a collection of songs that are wholly original, blending the psychedelic pop of their heroes with the lean vitality of punk. The albumâ€™s lead number, â€œI Wanna Destroy You,â€ is perhaps the best example of this, a catchy pop tune to be sure, but those Beatlesque harmonies are delivered with a sneer. The title track, which rounds out the album, is also a must-hear masterpiece.
However, it is â€œKingdom of Loveâ€ that gets the heaviest rotation. I enjoy this song so much that I included it in my literature class at St. Johnâ€™s University. Discussing the subject of love, we looked at a number of songs about relationships and explored notions of power, gender, and sex. Other songs discussed included Bob Dylanâ€™s â€œShe Belongs to Me,â€ â€œYou Keep Me Hanginâ€™ Onâ€ by The Supremes, â€œSingle Ladies (Put a Ring on It)â€ by Beyonce, â€œSummer Boyfriendâ€ by Lady Gaga, â€œManâ€ by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, and this one. (That lecture and subsequent discussion should probably be its own article â€“ I had a surprising mix of opinions on the narrator of â€œYou Keep Me Hanginâ€™ Onâ€ and whether she was a victim or, as one female student put it, â€œclearly just a crazy bitch.â€ She made a compelling argument.)
When I first heard â€œKingdom of Love,â€ I was immediately captivated by the music. The intro and verses groove along with a cool swagger, a laid-back interplay between two guitars with a walking bass line and a relaxed drumbeat, while the choruses have a sense of urgency to them. Hitchcockâ€™s sotto near-whisper is replaced with a near-monotone pair of vocals while the chilled-out guitars descend with bombast before going into its cathartic, major-key bridge. As stellar as the music is, the lyrics are even better.
In each verse, Hitchcock alludes to different places â€“ a spiritual kingdom of love, a primitive jungle of love, and a physical kingdom of time. Every one of these places represents a different facet of being in a relationship: the mental connection of finding a soulmate, the physical connection that comes with sex, and the emotional connection that comes with companionship. Better still is the first chorus:
“Youâ€™ve been laying eggs under my skin
Now theyâ€™re hatching out under my chin
Now thereâ€™s tiny insects showing through
All the tiny insects look like you!”
I find that to be the perfect metaphor for the infatuation stage of love. (Note also that he is using a metaphor rather than a simile â€“ itâ€™s not â€œlikeâ€ youâ€™ve been laying eggs under his chin, you have been laying eggs under his skin!) The imagery of subcutaneous bugs works perfectly here; a person comes into your life and invades your psyche, the entirety of your being. This is reinforced in the songâ€™s final line: â€œYouâ€™re the one I love, or so it seems / Because youâ€™ve confiscated all my dreams.â€ This person has become such a part of the narratorâ€™s life that they are omnipresent, even in dreams. The songâ€™s bridge also has a lyric that I jokingly challenged my students to use as a pick-up line, but one that I will be including someday in my wedding vows: â€œAll I want to do is be your creature.â€ If thatâ€™s not love, Iâ€™m afraid I donâ€™t know what is.
There are other types of love song that I venerate, namely doo-wop ballads. However, I consider doo-wop to be a far more sophisticated form of music than (white) pop, especially from that same era, so weâ€™ll just have to save my thoughts on The Penguinsâ€™ â€œEarth Angel,â€ â€œIn the Still of the Nightâ€ by The Five Satins, and The Flamingosâ€™ version of â€œI Only Have Eyes For You,â€ one of the most uniquely arranged pop songs in history, for another time.